


Fearless Belonging

by InsightfulInsomniac



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Reunited!klaine, a psychoanalysis of klaine, and their breakup, no explicitly mentioned but implied, s6, season 6, tw depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25760755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsightfulInsomniac/pseuds/InsightfulInsomniac
Summary: It’s been a whirlwind of a day for Kurt and Blaine. They woke up longing for the other person, found each other again in a passionate reunion, and now know that they need to have a talk. The Talk.Kurt and Blaine spend the night at Burt and Carole’s discussing what went wrong, how they’re working on themselves to do better, and rebuilding the security to love each other again.Angst, emotional hurt/comfort, but all under the umbrella of Kurt and Blaine genuinely loving and trusting each other. Some fluff as well, to soften the blow.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 28
Kudos: 93





	Fearless Belonging

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone. Maybe not what you expected for my 100th fic, huh?
> 
> Here’s the story behind this fic. I’ve been working on it for weeks — and trying to flesh it out for months. It’s not a mammoth in size or world-building, but I care about these characters so much that I just wanted it to feel accurate and true to form.
> 
> I’ve been putting off posting it for awhile because I was just so worried that I didn’t get it right... that with the tiny snippet into their season 6 post-reunion talk that I’ve created, I totally missed the mark on their characters and what they struggled with. That being said, like I mentioned, this has been a fic I’ve wanted to write for a long time. I’m kind of obsessed with season six Klaine, as I think they have so much to build on due to the serious rush of major plot events because of glee’s short final season. I love building upon them, and this seemed like a necessary part of their story.
> 
> Anyway, I digress. I was super nervous to write and post this, but here we are. My 100th fic is the angstiest one I’ve ever written, but I think it fits such a monumental moment for my writing... it’s a fic that I’m not super confident in, but I love. Feels like a good 100th fic.
> 
> Anyway, I’ll keep writing fluff and happiness! This is just a little foray into the darker side of things.
> 
> Also, I’ve written two other fics surrounding this specific day in Klaine’s life. Check out [My Life Would Suck Without You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19799605) for their fairly immediate post-reunion experience and [Pillow Talk: 6 Moments in Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24401419) for the little chat Kurt has with Burt that I mention in this fic.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

“Are you sure your parents are okay with both of us crashing there?” Blaine asks for the millionth time, even as he continues packing an overnight bag with a few days’ worth of clothing. “With _me_ crashing there? I can always stay here until the lease officially runs out.”

“Blaine,” Kurt replies firmly. “My dad and Carole are 100% okay with it. Ultimately, they just want to see us happy. And I told them that I don’t want to be apart from you right now.”

Blaine smiles softly at the vulnerability between them. It’s achingly familiar, but somehow still brand new. “I don’t either. As long as they’re okay with it and they aren’t harboring some sort of resentment towards me, then I’ll stay over.”

“Resentment?” Kurt repeats confusedly. “Oh, honey, no. We’re adults; they get it. They understand that we both hurt each other and that I was the one who technically ended things, but that’s all that they need to know. It’s our business only. Okay? Don’t worry, they adore you just as much as they always have.”

“Okay,” Blaine nods, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “If you’re sure.”

“I’ve only ever been surer of a few things,” Kurt smiles. “Like how much I truly, deeply love you.”

“I love you too,” Blaine leans in for a slow kiss, taking Kurt’s hand in his when they break apart. “You know you don’t have to convince me of that. I believe you. I know you do.”

“I know,” Kurt squeezes their hands. “But I’m going to do better at telling you that I do. We’ll talk more about this later, okay?”

“Absolutely. I don’t know if I can stand to spend one more second here.”

******

“Kurt, honey, could you come taste this sauce for me?” Carole calls from the kitchen as they walk in the door, and Blaine follows him back.

Carole beams as she sees him, still holding out a spoon for Kurt to tase the sauce from. “Hi, Blaine. We’ve missed having you here for dinner. Red pepper chicken sound okay?”

“Uh, yeah, that sounds amazing,” he replies, a little taken aback at the casual nonchalance she exudes. He was at least expecting either some awkward hesitation before a return to normalcy, or a well-meaning but stifling dinner of overcompensation for the fact that he and Kurt haven’t actually been together for the past six months.

“Mm, is there basil in there?” Kurt asks after he obligingly lets Carole feed him the spoonful of sauce. 

“The recipe said it was optional, but I threw some in,” she answers, and he pauses for a moment in consideration.

“I’d add a little bit more,” he decides. “Is Dad home?”

She nods, turning back to the pot on the stove. “He’s in his office. Dinner will be ready in just a few more minutes.”

“I’m going to go put my bags down quick,” Blaine comments, and Kurt follows him.

“I’ll come too. Don’t worry about setting the table, Carole, we’ll take care of it when we get back.”

She grins back at them over her shoulder. “Thanks, boys.”

“You doing okay?” Kurt questions softly as they climb the stairs, and Blaine nods.

“Yeah. I just didn’t realized how... _normal_ it would feel to be back,” he admits. “You know, this is the longest I’ve gone since we met without being at your house.”

“I missed you a lot, Blaine,” Kurt says sincerely, opening the door to his bedroom for him. “There were so many times at dinner or just sitting around talking that I just instinctively looked over and expected you to be there, to share in a story or a joke...” he sighs. “And I’m not the only one. My dad and Carole missed you too, I’m positive.”

“I’m sorry,” Blaine murmurs, dropping his bag next to Kurt’s dresser, wiping a stray tear off of his cheek. “I’m feeling... on edge? Emotionally. Today’s been a little overwhelming, honestly.”

“Don’t apologize,” Kurt reaches out for Blaine, who goes easily into his embrace. “I know the feeling. Do you want to eat dinner in here? I’m sure my parents will understand.”

“No, no,” Blaine shakes his head. “Dinner isn’t an issue. Being around them is comforting.”

He looks up at Kurt through damp lashes. “Being around _you_ is comforting. But I know we need to talk after dinner. A lot.”

“We do,” Kurt agrees. “But it’s just you and me. Nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” Blaine smiles gently. “I’m not worried. Maybe a little nervous, but not worried.”

Kurt tilts Blaine’s chin upwards with a hand on his jaw, guiding him into an earnest kiss. Ever since their reunion earlier today, there’s been a very specific, burning need that accompanies each kiss they share. It’s almost as if they’re making up for six lost months, six months of yearning, through a familiar sort of breathless desperation.

“We need to go downstairs,” Kurt breathes when they pull apart, but he can’t resist resting his forehead against Blaine’s for a moment.

“I know,” Blaine murmurs. “I’m so hungry.”

Kurt laughs, feeling a bit more at ease now that Blaine’s smiling uninhibitedly. “Me too. Let’s go set the table before my parents think we got distracted.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Blaine winks over his shoulder as he heads for the door. “You’re very distracting.”

“Hm, to the right person, maybe.”

“Well, I’m the right person.”

“You definitely are,” Kurt replies sincerely, and Blaine positively _beams_.

******

Dinner drags on longer than expected, and while being back home together feels just so right, Kurt also clues into Blaine’s nervousness in anticipation for their upcoming conversation. He feels the nagging dread, bordering on fear, in the back of his mind, too.

Carole and Burt must know something’s up, or at least understand that their reunion happened so fast, so blessedly but chaotically fast, that they need time to talk. Carole shoos both boys away from the table as soon as dinner’s done, and Burt declares that he’ll help her clean up, and they most definitely can handle it by themselves.

They waste no time heading upstairs; biting the bullet was never something they were great at, but they’re determined to change this time. As soon as he turns around from shutting the door to his former bedroom behind them, Kurt knows exactly what Blaine needs.

“Kurt,” he manages, voice thick and eyes welling with tears that he’s desperately trying to keep from falling. 

“Shh,” Kurt replies, pulling Blaine into a tight embrace, letting him bury his face in the crook of his neck and physically feel Kurt’s presence against him. “I’ve got you.”

Kurt staves off the emotion he feels clawing at his chest, knowing it’ll resurface soon enough. Blaine sighs and grasps the back of his shirt, keeping him close.

“We need to talk,” Blaine murmurs after a few quiet moments. “I know we do. You know we do.”

Kurt nods, ghosting a kiss to Blaine’s forehead. “Yeah. It’s not going to be an easy conversation, but it’s necessary.”

“I know. And I promise that I’ll still love you after it, no matter what,” Blaine insists, picking his head up from Kurt’s shoulder. “I mean it.”

“Me too,” Kurt agrees firmly. “I really, truly promise.”

“Okay,” Blaine exhales loudly, steadying himself, before crossing the room to settle himself on the bed, Kurt following suit. “Where should we start?”

“I just need to put it out there,” Kurt begins. “When I said I didn’t know if I wanted to marry you, I didn’t mean it. I never meant it. I was stressed, upset, and overwhelmed and it wasn’t right for me to say that, and I’m sorry.”

He reaches across the bed to take Blaine’s hands in his. “I need you to understand that, Blaine. I never meant it.”

Blaine nods, a few tears slipping down his cheeks. “Thank you, I — I know. I know you didn’t mean it. There’s a lot to unpack behind it and about why we got to that point... but I know you didn’t mean what you were saying. But it still helps to hear that.”

“Good. We can revisit that later,” Kurt continues. “Because we’ve had a lot of labels over the years, and we’ll need to decide where to go from here. But I think we should get through the... _more difficult_ things first.”

“Kurt, I’ve been seeing a therapist, you know that,” Blaine says, and Kurt nods.

“I have too. Sorry, go on.”

“And I realized, with her help, that I demanded too much from you in our relationship,” Blaine explains, voice thick. “I was lost — with school, with my future, with my body, with my life — and I think I felt like you were the only thing that I knew. And so I clung way too tightly to you and ended up pulling you under with me.”

“I’m learning,” he sighs, hands fidgeting in his lap. “I’m trying, Kurt, I’m trying so hard to not demand so much from the people close to me when I feel the most out of control. You’re not mine to control, you’re not mine to take so much from — I know I was intense and needy and clingy and jealous, and I _just_ —“

Blaine chokes out a sob and Kurt can’t stand the physical distance between them any longer, despite it being so small. He reaches out for him and pulls him close, letting him nuzzle into his neck as he rubs his back rhythmically.

“I’m sorry,” Blaine murmurs. “I’m so sorry.”

“I love you,” Kurt reassures him. “I love you so much.”

Blaine’s lips tilt up into a faint smile. “I love you too.”

“You know, you can still need me, especially when you’re feeling out of control, or insecure,” Kurt responds gently. “And please don’t be afraid to be intense — to feel things intensely, to express things intensely — your passion is such a beautiful part of you that I’ve always loved.”

Blaine sighs against his chest. “I’m learning ways to keep it from tipping into the extremes. And I can’t expect so much from another person who’s trying to live their life as much as I am.”

“But you can expect me to always be there and to always love and support you,” Kurt counters. “Please don’t doubt that for a second.”

“I don’t, now,” Blaine replies. “I... tend to spiral. I make things a ‘worst-case-scenario’ before they’ve even become a scenario. My brain just plummets me to the depths of my darkest thoughts... and I’m learning mechanisms to help me slow down before I can get to that place.”

“I’m proud of you,” Kurt praises softly, stroking Blaine’s cheek with his thumb. “I’m always proud of you, but this... it’s a lot, B. And it’s going to be a process. But I’m so proud of you and I will be here with you through the best and the worst of it all.”

Blaine sighs deeply. “You have no idea... you are the one person in the whole world who is wholly safe. I’m just — just really glad I can share this with you.”

“I’ve always said that you make me feel so safe, so the feeling’s mutual,” Kurt smiles. “I have a lot to share too, do you mind if I talk for a bit?”

“Go for it,” Blaine offers, making a show of cuddling closer to Kurt. “I’m here, I’m listening, and I’m more comfortable than I’ve been in a long time.”

“I think, when everything went... bad,” Kurt starts carefully. “We were on opposite ends of the spectrum. You said you were taking too much, but I was definitely giving too little. I did feel stifled — but a lot of that was in my own head, too. I was obsessed with the idea that having to give up a part of myself to you would take away from me reaching who I fully wanted to be.”

Kurt levels an honest, stripped-bare look at Blaine. “And I have no idea where I got that idea from. I should’ve known from years of experience that giving a part of myself to you is a gift for both of us that brought me so much love and joy and comfort — and vise versa. I was overwhelmed, but not just by you. I was in my own head, tricking myself into thinking that closing myself off to people is the only way to focus on my own road to success.”

Kurt laughs in spite of himself as hot tears stream down his face — he doesn’t even realize he‘s crying until Blaine wipes them off of his cheeks lovingly. “God, I was selfish, and cold, and the actual _worst_ fiancé on the planet. I was trying so hard to run my own race that I couldn’t even cheer you on in yours or help you up so you could keep running.”

“I think I spent a little too much time at your race,” Blaine remarks quietly. “And maybe you didn’t spend enough time at mine.”

“And then, when we tried to run ours together, you were exhausted from putting so much effort into both of our races, and I was exhausted from trying to run my own without taking a break to check in with you on the sidelines,” Kurt continues. “God, we’ve gotten a lot of use out of this race metaphor.”

“Maybe we should throw it away, then?” Blaine suggests tentatively. “I think the intrinsic idea of competition might not be the healthiest thing for our new-and-improved relationship.”

“Our _improved_ relationship,” Kurt corrects. “I really don’t want to pretend like this is new, or that we’re starting over. You’re so important to me, Blaine, and so is our history. I want to keep valuing our past.”

Blaine nods. “Me too. That being said... I don’t want to walk on eggshells, either. What can we do so that we don’t bottle up arguments until they explode?”

“I think we need to establish that complete honestly, both with the reality of situations and with how we’re feeling, is the first thing,” Kurt replies carefully. “We both learned that adult life and adult relationships are hard. We’re going to upset each other. But we can’t be so worried that one fight is going to be the end of it all that we delay it until it’s ten times worse.”

“I know I struggled with that,” Blaine admits, eyes downturned. “Like I said, I got stuck in my head a lot.”

“I need to do better at opening up to how I really feel,” Kurt adds. “You were always so good at emotional intimacy, and I just shut down. I don’t know why I was hesitant, or — or _afraid_.”

“It’s okay,” Blaine says. “It’s okay. I was scared too, it’s okay.”

Kurt inhales a shuddering breath and pulls Blaine to him tightly, holding him close and focusing on the familiar arms wrapped around him.

“I thought I lost you, Blaine,” he whispers into his shoulder, sniffling. “I never would’ve forgiven myself. _Ever_.”

“I felt that way too,” Blaine agrees quietly. “I hated myself.”

Blaine’s words twist in Kurt’s chest. “Sweetheart, I... I’m so sorry.”

Blaine shakes his head. “No, don’t apologize, I mean, I needed help. I was in a dark place for awhile. I was just... off. And yeah, the breakup was the catalyst to a pretty steep decline, but it only sped it up. I’m getting better, but it’s not just going to go away.”

Blaine looks him right in the eyes, a world of hurt behind them. “So, fair warning, you’re getting a pretty broken guy if you want him.”

“Blaine, you’re not broken,” Kurt insists, grabbing his hands and squeezing them. “And of course I want you. I want you on the days where you’re at your best, yes, but I want you at your worst, too. Because I love you — every part of you. And nothing could make me change my mind.”

“Besides, I’m not all together either,” Kurt continues honestly. “We’ve been through a lot, B. I’ve got my own baggage. So it goes without saying that you’re also getting a battered person.”

“I think you’re beautiful,” Blaine replies softly. “Baggage and battered and all.”

“There is not a single person in the world who just... is _everything_ like you are, Blaine,” Kurt explains. “You’re everything to me. No matter what.”

“Same. No matter what,” Blaine assures. “I love you so much.”

Kurt smiles. “I love you too.”

He coaxes Blaine into a slow kiss with a hand on his jaw, feeling more at peace and more himself than he has in a long time.

They talk for hours. The conversation has its ups and downs — there are more tears, but there’s also laughter, and above all, joyful security. Comfort in finding each other again and strength in their learned maturity combine to create a settled sense of fearless belonging. 

As important as the talking is, it’s also incredibly emotionally draining. Kurt feels Blaine doze off against him when they’re talking about frivolous future plans, on a tangent about moving back to New York, like where they should get lunch first and what flea markets they should peruse to find furniture that they pick out together this time.

Kurt lets him sleep for a bit, keeping his voice low as his dad pops in to make sure he knows that Blaine is welcome to stay the night, and for the foreseeable future. Blaine stirs slightly awake just for a moment, and Kurt tells him to go back to sleep and he’ll wake him up before he gets ready for bed.

The next thing Kurt knows, he’s rubbing his sleep-heavy eyes and waking up to the soft glow of the bedside lamp he’d had on, despite the clock beside it displaying that he’d, in fact, been asleep for hours and it’s now well past two in the morning.

Blaine’s pressed up against him, his head resting on his chest as he snores softly, and Kurt can’t help but feel a surge of warmth when he looks at him. It’s been so long since they’ve slept together, and he didn’t realize how much he missed it —Blaine’s warm body clinging to his, his rhythmic breathing filling the room, and even the drool that Kurt knows has pooled on his shirt. 

Speaking of which, they’re both still in the clothes they’ve been wearing all day. The clothes that they put on while still aching for the other, not sure if they’d ever reunite in this way.

Carefully, Kurt eases out of Blaine’s hold, sitting up on his knees on the bed. Starting at his bow tie, he gently unties it and eases it off of his neck, moving to the buttons on Blaine’s polo next.

When he slowly pulls his shirt out of its tuck, Blaine stirs and barely opens his eyes. “What... Kurt — what’re you doin’?” He mumbles, lips twitching up into a smile.

“Shh, arms up,” Kurt whispers, and Blaine obliges sleepily. He slips the polo over his head, only wrestling a bit with Blaine’s dead weight still resting on the mattress. “We both fell asleep. It’s two-thirty in the morning. I’m just getting us out of our clothes.”

“Mm, I thought you were going to ravish me,” Blaine drawls, and Kurt barks out a laugh.

“Maybe another night, honey,” he replies, unbuckling Blaine’s belt and pulling it off, tossing it to the floor with his shirt. “Hips up.”

Blaine grins and obeys, sighing happily once he’s freed of his pants. “You take such good care of me.”

“Well, I know you’d do the same,” Kurt smiles, ridding himself of his clothes now. 

“I would, but m’falling asleep,” Blaine slurs, eyes drifting shut again. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, B,” Kurt chuckles, kicking off his own pants after he’s unbuttoned his shirt. Really, he should be folding these clothes or putting them in his hamper, but he’s too tired to care. “Go back to sleep.”

Blaine rolls over onto his stomach and flings out an arm when he feels Kurt lay back down next to him, resting it across his stomach. “Love you.”

“Love you too, honey.”

In the morning, Blaine wakes up before Kurt, as usual. But he lays in bed until he wakes up anyway, starting their first full day back together with a murmured “Good morning, I love you,” and an unhurried, lazy makeout session.

It’s the perfect way to start this new chapter in their lives together. This time, they’re both wholeheartedly confident that it’s the last first day of the rest of their lives together.

**Author's Note:**

> I legitimately cried twice while writing this. I blasted sad music and got into the ZONE. 
> 
> I hope I did Kurt and Blaine and their thoughts justice here. I’ll put it this way: I’ve psychoanalyzed Blaine during season 5 and 6 enough to write a book, and that’s definitely because I relate a lot to him. I feel like he can be a misunderstood character at times — not erasing his flaws or his mistakes, but I think he gets a lot of hate that is just misplaced. Again, I relate a lot to him — his need for validation, for love to be expressed to him, his fear of failure and disappointing the people closest to him... yeah. Let’s just say that if I was any character in Glee, personality-wise, at best and at worst, I’d be Blaine. No question about it. So I just feel like I GET him.
> 
> But I also really, really feel connected to Kurt when I write. That’s why a lot of what I write typically comes from his perspective. I think that’s the Blaine in me, lol. He’s my absolute favorite and I just GET him... not on a personal level like I do Blaine, but he just makes sense to me. Huh. Interesting.
> 
> Anyway. I hope that fic sat well with all of you in terms of both my canon and the overall Glee canon. That’s my goal!
> 
> Also, thank you all SO MUCH for your constant support through my 100 fics!! I can’t believe I made it to this milestone; I couldn’t have done it without all of your kudos, comments, and encouragement!
> 
> To celebrate, I will be hosting a bracket-style tournament competition on my Instagram ([@insightful.insomniac](https://www.instagram.com/insightful.insomniac/)) in which you all help me determine the #1 fanfic I’ve written by voting all of my fics through each round! It’ll begin at 7pm EST on Friday (tomorrow, August 7) and will end on Sunday, when the winner will be announced!
> 
> I’ve got all of my fics ranked by seed through counting kudos and views to make the correct list. I’ll update it before we start, but I’m just really excited to see where this goes! I think it’ll be fun! Hope to see you there!
> 
> Also, the fanfic award voting closes very soon!! If you haven’t already (so much thanks and love if you have!!), please consider voting for me [here](https://s.surveyplanet.com/De3tXBDK9)!
> 
> As usual, I’m sending so much love to every one of you in these difficult times. Stay strong and stay safe ❤️
> 
> Find me on Instagram: @insightful.insomniac
> 
> Find me on tumblr: @zigxzag-klaine


End file.
